Story by Sabah Naqushbandi
I will always remember Jolly Aunty as a larger than life personality - bubbling with an abundance of love , optimism and endless bounds of positive energy.
I distinctly remember visiting her in sunny LA one time and us going to the cinema to watch W. together - yes , that film about George Bush (!). It was amazing and when I think back, I don’t know what was more entertaining - the movie or Jolly Aunty’s highly animated running commentary. I can’t imagine that cinema hall had ever experienced anyone so expressive and full of emotion in a movie like that before !
So every time I think of Jolly Aunty - that memory comes to mind and makes me smile. She had such a big personality, always so bold and honest in her opinion , never afraid to speak her mind openly and be herself. Her smile, her laughter , her passion , her empathy, her sense of justice - that real and raw emotion and strength of feeling in everything she said , did and felt was so beautiful to experience. It’s no wonder she led such a rich and full life, and I have no doubt that she has been a wonderful inspiration and role model to so many people (myself included!)
I’ll remember Jolly Aunty always as an incredibly inspiring strong independent woman, someone who wasn’t afraid to wear their heart on their sleeve, always proactive, active and thinking about others and her social responsibility, and just so full of selfless love. I personally could never keep up with all her different philanthropic projects . I never figured out how she made it look so effortless and easy as well.
Aside from raising a wonderful family, I know she mustn’t have touched so many people with her passion - and they like me will miss her incredibly . May her joy for life and jollyness live on in our hearts x
Story by David Featherman
It is with much sadness I hear of the passing of Mrs. Khan today from Shobi. I am truly saddened by the news. Shobi and I went to Cal together and were roommates my senior year. Shobi had already graduated and was working for Arthur Anderson as an accountant at the time. I will never forget the kindness that both Mr. and Mrs. Khan always showed to me. They kindly opened up their home and let me stay with them one summer while I was working in Los Angeles.
I will always remember how kind and considerate Mrs. Khan was. One particular memory is perhaps the last time I saw her. We were driving through LA on the way back to the Bay Area and stopped to see Shobi and the family. We were late and missed breakfast. Mrs. Khan insisted on cooking for us. My lasting memory of her will always be her making sure to take care of everyone and her sunny disposition. I am privileged to have been able to know her.
Please accept my deepest condolences for your family's loss.
Story from Aliya Vigor-Robertson
When you come from a big family like ours and your parents have 51 first cousins it can be hard to figure out the family tree and how it all fits together. Jolly Aunty was my grandmothers younger sister. As I grew up I met Jolly Aunty lots of times and she was always someone who carried her name with her wherever she went. She was someone that once you met you could never forget.
From our trips to LA as a family, her visits to the UK and time spent in Kashmir together her warmth and care always made us feel very special. I admired her tenacious spirit; a working mum raising two incredible and talented boys, a wonderful wife with such a huge heart.
I was lucky enough to convince my parents in 1999 to go travelling around the world for 9 months on my own and one of my last stops was LA where I was picked up at the airport by Jolly Aunty. I remember her jaw hitting the ground as she looked at my bleached blonde streaky hair, my huge backpack on my back plus several others hanging off various limbs and her telling me that she was going to get me fixed up straight away. “Aliya,” she said, “you look a mess!!”
Before I could argue she drove me to her hair salon where I was transformed into something much more presentable. Like I said, she knew exactly how to make people feel special. That time together was just the best. Coming from a family of 6 it was lovely just to spend some 1:1 time with her. I will always remember her telling me about how Californian pineapples were the best in the world. I’ll remember her taking me to the Getty Museum and many other places on that short trip. Her hospitality knew no bounds.
These last few years had been really hard on her health but she found time to reach out and connect via facetime. She was a light that shone so brightly. Her light touched so many of us and I feel so lucky to have been a very small part of her life. Her lessons will stay with me and I will share them with my family. She was one incredible lady.
Note from Katie Chang
I imagine Jolly in Heaven, looking down on her family, singing and smiling, as she plays the ukulele. She had such wonderful qualities that will live on through her children and grandchildren. The beautiful people she created are a testament to her lovely soul; her last and most important legacy lives on in them. Thank you for always treating me like family.
Love,
Aunty Katy
Photos from Mumtaz Mir
Since 1969 we have both been in America. Even though we never lived in the same state, these pictures are a testament to how much time we have spent together. As we established our roots in America, the roots of our family became intertwined, and so they will forever remain.
Story by Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib
I want you all to know our world lost someone special today. Jolly Aunti touched my heart instantly. I felt a connection that is so rare. Hearing of her passing had me on my knees wishing she had seen her beloved Kashmir free before her passing. Allah wanted us to meet so I would never forget Kashmir. She pleaded with me, caressing my hands, to stop the rapes, the blinding of children and painful deaths. I won't ever forget. Our meeting is one that I will carry with me, always.
Allah Yerhama.
This was posted on Congresswoman Tlaib’s instagram and is re-posted here.
The original posting can be found below: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIpC-Yhl3rV/
Story by Reefat Drabu
Jolly Aunty you will be missed so much. You were a force so full of energy. You showed your strength right to the end. For me you were the engine that powered Rajbagh when we visited in 1969. You were the super heroine who showed everyone how to get things done. You forged a career in the country of opportunity and shone. You hosted us so many times that your home felt like a second home to us. Your love for Khurshid was reciprocal. There was frankness between the two of you that I loved. I loved the way you got away with calling Rafique Shb. an alcoholic. You epitomised Jolly. You leave behind boys that have always been exemplary – they have and will continue to do you proud. You have left a legacy of loving family. You have gone but you live on in your legacy. They all carry a bit of you. The memories we shared will always remain in my heart. They truly will, as they were always made with Khurshid.
Story by John Cranston
Shobi and Family,
Those Thanksgiving and football weekends we spent together were life highlights for me. I remember sitting on the couch after playing golf or anything and her bringing us food, like a plate of incredible goodies that she whipped up. It wasn't the great food, it was the tireless friendly energy she had taking care of everyone. She called me her "3rd son" sometimes and made me feel so welcome and special, and I know she made every one of your friends feel the same way. She was incredibly friendly, warm and giving. I'm so lucky to have known her and I will always remember her and try to be a little bit like her. She was a jewel. (yes, I heard her say that about others).
Please send my regards to everyone.
Love you,John
Story by Arif Khan and Family
We were saddened to learn of Jolly Auntie’s passing, a loss for all of us. We have fond memories of Jolly Auntie, who certainly lived up to her nickname. The last time we were all physically together with her was in Colorado in 2013. Seema and Leena did have the opportunity to visit her and Rafique Uncle during a trip to Los Angeles in 2015. In true Jolly Auntie fashion, she lived up to her fame in hospitality and cooking, with everyone engaging in a spirited discussion about Kashmir. One thing she mentioned to Arif in Colorado stands out. She insisted the extended family must continue to keep in touch. May she rest in peace.
إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ
Arif, Seema, Hasan, & Leena Khan
Story by Humairah Shah
Jolly Aunty....the name says it all! She was a wonderful person, always had a smile on her face and ready to help any Kashmiri at a moments notice. Even if she was not in the best of her health she would try her best to be a part of our community gatherings. She would walk in with a patila of halwa or nun chai or open her heart and house to us irrespective of her fragile health and age. The pot of nun chai or halwa was just one of her many ways of expressing her unconditional love for the community. When she found out I had written a children’s book she drove all the way to Downtown LA to introduce me to a lady who she thought would be able to help me spread the word. She never held herself back from helping others. May Allah grant her Jannat-ul- firdous.
Story by Jill Blumel
Your mom was really kind to Jim and I, including us in family get togethers and I especially remember how much of a grandma she was to Leah when she was a baby and we brought her over. Your mom was kind, generous and dear. Although I hadn’t seen her in years, I’m glad she got to be surrounded by family, to see her sons grow up and be successful family men and businessmen, and to see her grandchildren grow up and do incredibly well too. Those are all things so many of us wish for and I’m happy she got to enjoy them.
Story by Yasmin and Khalid Naqushbandi
Our dearest Jolly Aunty, passionate as ever about everything and everyone! Jolly aunty was amazingly special to all of us. There are no words that will capture all of what she was and all that we have lost. We will always remember her elegance, matching outfits and Kashmiri shawls, always smiling, laughing and talking and always having an opinion! Giving it as it is! On a personal note we will always cherish her coming at the time Mummy and Daddy were here with us in London. She and Ami took Mummy (who was not well at that time) out to London. We remember her telling Mummy,"Come on Khalajan, you will feel better". It was her positive and caring thinking, that was so special which defined Jolly Aunty.Jolly Aunty was the most special aunty to all our girls.
We all remember our trip to LA when we stayed with you. She was so proud on being an Kashmiri American- the first Kashmiri to get American citizenship - if I remember correctly - so proud - she joined us in everything, from taking us to Disney to showing us where we could buy a rice cooker (a novelty at that time!) and telling Baba and Naseema Aunty and us how clean Disney was - and there was nowhere in the world like it ! Going to the beach with a massive picnic - packed by her, eaten by us all ! Her hospitality and open warmth was overwhelming and had no end. A very very special trip for all of us. The joining of the Naqushbandis and Khans was also a very special time for us all. Our lovely Jolly aunty looking fabulous as ever and so very very happy with the union. She always thanked us for bringing Yaqoot and Obi together ( not sure we played such a major part !) she made us feel so special that we felt we had done everything ! We will always treasure her presence at Lara and Waj's wedding - such a privilege to have you both joining us at this special time for us. Our meetings in Kashmir were a welcome part of our trips there. we will miss all our ongoing and special talks about Kashmir and the various charities and work that she was interested in. Jolly Aunty was someone whose presence and joy of life and giving of herself knew no bounds. She will always have a very special place in our hearts.
Story by Lara Naqushbandi
Jolly by name and jolly by nature - your warmth and love was always so prevalent every time. I was in your presence jolly aunty, what an incredible force of nature you were! I have many memories of being in your beautiful garden, and looking out at the Hollywood sign. My favorite of course will always be the time I visited with my two "boy" friends Alfonso and Pedro on our post business school west coast road trip. Of course I knew what to expect, but my spanish companions were so incredibly overwhelmed and in awe of your vivacious character, that they still ask after my "jolly aunty" even now when I talk to them, more than ten years later! I can still recall how lovely it was sitting and laughing with you and Uncle Rafique in your garden, eating a lovely spanish omelette together and giggling at your delightful stories.
with all my love xxx
Story by Insha Malik
My deepest condolences on Jolly Aunty's passing. I can't even imagine all the emotions that you both are feeling right now, losing a parent is one of the rawest and most surreal events that we unfortunately have to live through. I hope that you both are able to take the time to grieve and celebrate her life, which was so full and well lived. I will always remember Jolly Aunty very fondly for her larger than life personality, which I absolutely loved, and thoroughly enjoyed at every opportunity that we were able to spend together.
In the years that followed after my dad passed away, I would hear stories from his friends about their childhood, all relayed to me with a fondness that really helped me form an even greater memory of him. I want to share with you both, my fond memories of Jolly Aunty, and a life lesson that she taught me that I carry to this day:
When I was applying to colleges, and was unsure of how I was going to pay for school and navigate the financial aid system, your mom spent some time "educating" me on how to navigate the system. She encouraged me to write personalized emails to universities that I really wanted to attend, but could in no way afford, and she made sure to remind me that there are exceptions to every rule, and that I was compelling enough with my story, "they" would find a way to make it work for me. I really didn't appreciate the value of her advice as an 18 year old applying to school, but I can tell you that over the years I have come to understand what she truly meant, and have carried this lesson and applied this in many many aspects of my life, especially professionally.
I also fondly remember one day when I was stranded in LA and called your mom while en route to your parents house, to be welcomed with an incredible home cooked meal and a few hours of relaxing conversation with your mom and dad in their backyard! Might not sound like much, but at the time, it really did mean the world to me.Wishing all of you our best wishes during this very difficult time.
Hope we are able to get together soon.
Story by Hamza and Annelie Drabu
We heard that Jolly Aunty is no longer with us, and we will all miss her dearly. What an incredible force she was, an absolute powerhouse of love and generosity. We will never forget her and we will remember the great times together. We have been looking back at some of our old photos today as a family, and attach a few of the wonderful memories from over the years.
In the last six months or so, we were lucky to FaceTime each other from time to time to catch up. Whilst Eden and Sabina were only 3 and 6 when we came to LA (now 9 and 12), they still remember that trip as the best ever - particularly "Jolly Auntie's house" (sorry Uncle Rafique, I have tried to explain that you own it too...).
Sabina and Eden also wrote a message together below.
We are very sorry for your loss, she will be remembered in all of our hearts. We wish we could come to her funeral to see you all.We remember when we came to LA and came to Jolly Auntie's house. There were amazing swimming pools and she made us huge platters of fruit. We ate cheese and crackers on the poolside together. Jolly Aunty also took us to In and Out burger - the first time we had ever been there and it was lots of fun.
We will really miss her.
Another great Kashmiri light goes out, but we will remember her in our thoughts and prayers, and we send you all our love and our condolences. I hope we can all be together again soon.
Lots of love,
Hamza, Annelie, Sabina and Eden